Mark 4:39
image found: old screen shot on my found, sourced unknown.
I needed this verse tonight, and tonight at almost midnight, is the first time in a week that I really have felt still. Still, quite and ok.
I feel at peace not because it's quite and everyone is in bed, but because I am sitting here in presence of the Lord soaking up His peace, while hyms play out loud over the bluetooth speaker. The praise music just dispels the darkness and makes way for the peace.
There are so many good things happening in the life of our family. Not just happy temporary little things, but life changing strides in our spiritual lives and how we worship as a family and major changes to our heath. For the first time in a decade we have been going to church and searching for a church home. I have been apart of a woman's bible study, the kids are making many friendships. My husband's health is dramatically improving.
People, myself included, tend to spend a lot of time waiting for change and transformation. Often when the good things that you pray for come, you are met with so much more than you anticipated. Especially if the good things have eternal and mulitgenerational ramifications.
There has been so much uncommon strife here lately. And this is after a month of sickness that passed through our house for weeks. But oh the fighting! The frustration, the heartbreaking words from your children of "I feel like you don't like me" or the quarreling among them and me. I have gotten mad. Angry. I have sinned and fallen so so short on... all of it.
But you know what. I'm not giving in. I'm not going to allow myself to feel destructive and self inflicting thoughts of failure. I'm not going to let the devil turn this into a pity party where things start to slip more. I'm fighting for my peace. My family's peace. The peace of my household.
I'll keep praising God. keep on singing. I'll ask God to stand in the gap. I pray that God will fill my heart with peace where there is none. And I will "Stand firm and see the salvation of the Lord." 2 Chron 20:17
The Battle is the Lord's, and the Lord is mine.
The Battle is the Lord's, and the Lord is mine.
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